Vicious Kind (Theo)

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Theo listened as Vivian began her story and he could tell even before she started that she didn't want to talk about whatever she was about to say. Inwardly he thanked her for being more brave than a lot of people would be, and when she started her story Theo felt his eyes go wide and his jaw fell open slightly. Her.... step-father had touched her? He swallowed slightly, but as he opened his mouth to speak, she continued her story and things got even worse. Her step-father had touched her and her mother had beat her for it? His face fell as he stared at her, his mouth agape.

She said she didn't think about it anymore, which Theo knew was a lie. How could you not think about something like that? She admitted that she still thought about it, and Theo was glad she didn't try to lie to him. She'd never tried to lie to him before. Probably because he knew her better than that. And then she said her father still did it when he could.

Theo was unsure of how to react. He was shocked, but more than that he was angry. He was angry at her parents. They were the reason she was this way, they were the reason she was such a shell. He couldn't believe that her parents could do something like that to her. He couldn't believe that any parent would ever do that to their child.

Theo was silent, completely at a loss for words because of the shock and the rage he felt at her parents. He stared across the lake for a moment, trying to compose his thoughts, trying to even process what he'd just been told. She said she hadn't liked it and Theo almost let out a laugh. That was an understatement. Of course she didn't like it!

Vivian said she was cold Theo only frowned further before he scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He pulled her closer so her head rested on his shoulders before he stared across the grounds.

"Why would you ever think I hated you for that? Your parents are the one who deserve the hate," he said, and he meant it. The thought of her step-father and mother doing that to Vivian made him filled with almost as much rage as when he thought about his own father killing his mother. "I'm sorry they did that to you. You don't deserve it," he said quietly.

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[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

When Vivian finally got it all out, she felt a sense of relief she hadn't expected to feel. It was good, finally saying it out loud, especially to Theo. It had always been odd that there was such a huge part of her he didn't know about. She had thought that she wouldn't care either way whether or not Theo knew, but now she was glad she had told him. He looked shocked, though, and didn't seem to know what to say. Vivian didn't know how he was going to react when he finally did speak, and so she didn't look at him. Theo's was the only reaction she gave a damn about, and so waiting for it was hard for her. She was used to not caring either way what anyone said or did, and over time that built up a sort of complacency. She wasn't used to caring.

But then Theo shifted closer to her, and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him. Vivian moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He was warm, as he always was, and his arm was firm around her. He smelled so familiar to her, and it was comforting. Slowly, her shivering stopped.

Theo asked her a question, and Vivian looked up at him for a long moment, and sighed.
"I don't know, Theo," she replied, quietly, "lots of reasons. I thought maybe you'd be disgusted. Maybe you'd think it was my fault."

When he said it was her parents he hated, Vivian shrugged. Yes, she hated them, but even that seemed pointless. He said that she didn't deserve it.
"Nobody gets what they deserve," she replied, quietly. Bad people lived full, happy lives, when good people suffered. But Vivian wasn't a good person.

"I'm fine, Theo," she added, after a moment, "you know I am." Theo knew better than anyone that Vivian didn't feel sad about it. She had developed the perfect coping mechanism. She didn't really feel anything. Vivian closed her eyes and turned her head slightly, burying her face in Theo's neck. It was an intimate gesture, one quite out of character for her, but it had been that sort of day. Sitting here with Theo made her parents seem very far away. He was her anchor, no matter how little she wanted to admit to needing one. Her best friend. Her only friend.

"I didn't want him to do it," she said, her eyes still closed, her voice quiet but this time slightly strained. "I didn't. I didn't do anything to make him think that... I swear..." Vivian's eyes suddenly felt wet behind her lids, and she squeezed them shut even more tightly, but that only served to make the tears leak out. She didn't know why she was crying. She thought of when she had first told her mum. I didn't do anything, I didn't want him to, I didn't, I didn't...

She hadn't believed her. Nobody ever seemed to believe Vivian didn't want it. Not Vaisey, with her boyfriend, certainly. Most people would probably think Vivian had asked for it. She thought of what Theo had said earlier; 'you're their entertainment.' That was how they all saw her.
"I didn't," she said again, even more firmly. She didn't know why she was repeating herself, but she couldn't seem to stop. She just wanted him to understand.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Vivian said she didn't know why Theo would hate her, and then she began to star listing reasons. He shook his head immediately.

"Vivian, you're not disgusting," he said, knowing that was probably what her mother told her. e frowned at the thought. Vivian wasn't disgusting. At all, and the fact that her mother told her as much out of jealousy... that's what disgusted Theo. And then Vivian spoke again and the words couldn't have been more true. People didn't get what they deserved. Vivian didn't deserve what happened to her, and he certainly didn't deserve what happened to him.

Vivian said she was fine, and he nodded. Of course she was. She was always fine. She was able to brush anything off her back, but that was just a result of what her parents did to her. But he knew she was fine. As fine as someone could be in that situation, and he wouldn't press her on it, for now. And then Vivian began saying that she hadn't wanted her step-father to touch her, that she hadn't done anything to make him think that. Theo could hear her voice cracking, and he squeezed his arm tighter around her.

"I know Vivian," he said gently. He wasn't sure if she'd been having some kind of flashback or if she truly didn't think Theo believed her, but he would never, ever doubt her on that. What child would want that to happen to them? The thought of her parents doing that to her made him furious again, but he pushed those thoughts aside knowing this wasn't the time to be angry. "I believe you."

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[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Theo said that he believed her, and Vivian felt calmer almost instantly. That had been what she had needed to hear, she realised. That he believed her. He was the first person to ever believe her, and she knew he was the only one who ever would without question. Theo was the only person in the world who trusted her. Everyone else thought she was some stuck up Veela bitch. But Theo didn't think that.

Vivian raised a hand to her cheeks and roughly brushed her tears away, clearing her throat, slightly embarrassed that she had cried, although she didn't know if Theo had noticed.

"Thank you," she said, quietly.

Vivian wrapped an arm around him, and nestled her head more securely on his shoulder, still turned slightly towards his neck. She breathed in that slight woody smell that was so distinctly Theo, and felt more at home than she ever had with her parents. It made sense, she thought, that Theo knew about that. She wondered if Theo thought the same about her. She wondered if deep down he relied on her as much as she did on him. She wondered if she smelled safe and familiar to him, in a world where neither of them really had a home.

"Do you remember that time we locked your room-mates out of your dorm," she said, a slight smile on her face, "and made a sort of fort in your bed?"

It had been over a year ago now. The two of them had already established their 'experiments'. They'd kiss and sometimes Theo's hands would roam over her, because that, he insisted, was what boys and girls did. It was strange how much they had grown up in a year (or had it been two? She couldn't quite remember). On this occasion they had taken over the boys dormitory, and were laying on Theo's bed, Vivian in her jeans and t-shirt, Theo shirtless, because even back then bare skin was all he was truly comfortable in. They had kissed clumsily, and when his room-mates had come banging on the door they had laughed hysterically. In the end they had gathered up pillows and made Theo's bed insanely comfortable, pulled the curtains closed and gone under the covers. They had spent a few minutes kissing, but mostly they had talked, and Theo had made her laugh till her sides ached. The way he held her now reminded her of that, how he was still there for her.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Vivian seemed to wipe away some tears, coughing to pretend like she hadn't been. Theo smirked, but said nothing. He could mercilessly ridicule and poke fun at her, but he was in no mood to piss her off in the state she was in now. Instead, he listened silently as she thanked him and he grinned, squeezing her with the arm that had been wrapped around her shoulder.

"Now that's what I call a proper thank you," he said, chuckling lightly. "Still wouldn't mind a monument though." He grinned before laughing.

She seemed to burrow herself into him, and he laid his head on top of hers for only a second before picking it back up and staring around at the grounds before them. Somehow, even though he had't admitted anything about his own childhood to Vivian, her admission of what had happened was freeing for him, too. He wasn't alone in the fact that they'd been handed something they didn't deserve.

"And you don't have to thank me."

And then she spoke again and Theo felt himself laughing again. Of course he remembered that day. How could he ever forget it? The entire dorm was pissed at him for weeks, even though it wasn't really a big deal. He knew they'd do the same to him in a heartbeat, and they had on several occasions. They got over it eventually, just like he knew they would.

"Of course I remember, that was a great day," he said with a grin, and it had been a great day. He'd never forget the way they were wrapped around in blankets and each other, forgetting about the angry people outside, forgetting about all of their problems. That's how it always felt between them, like when they were together nothing else seemed to faze either of them. They were each other's armor.

ooc;; I'm sorry if this was terrible. I'm tired and work and blah.

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Vivian opened her eyes and looked up at Theo as he asked again for a monument, but he didn't see her; he was too busy grinning to himself and looking out over the grounds. She smiled, and looked in the same direction.

He lay his head on top of hers, and Vivian closed her eyes again for a moment. It was so comfortable, sitting like this. It reminded her of why they had lain in his bed together in the first place. Sure, they had kissed and stuff, and Theo had always jokingly tried to get her to do more (half jokingly, anyway; he had been young), but in the end they'd always end up laying next to each other or in each others arms, talking and laughing.

Vivian felt so warm and content sitting here with Theo. His arms were stronger now than they had been, and he kept a firm hold on her.
"I have to go," she said, her voice twinged with regret, and then she groaned. "I have double potions now." In truth she may already be late, Vivian wasn't sure. But she didn't care, either way. Sluggy wouldn't give her a detention (well, not another one, at least). She could always say she'd been in the hospital wing; it was half true.

"Do you have a lesson?" she asked, her nose wrinkled, "Or do you get to hang out here some more?" Theo was a sixth year, and since he was a NEWT student he had some free periods. Vivian was always exceptionally annoyed about that, especially when Theo got to lounge around the common room while she went off to sit in a classroom and be bored.

Vivian reached up and kissed Theo on the cheek. It was a sweet and very out of character gesture, so she hoped he appreciated it. His cheek was slightly bristly; ever since Theo had started to grow a beard, he hadn't been one for shaving. She had teased him about it, but really she thought it suited him.

"I'll see you at dinner," she said, standing up and grabbing her bag. She didn't relish the thought of going to potions, but even after the afternoon the two of them had had, life went on. That was comforting in some ways, boring in others. She tugged at her hemline as she stood, scowling slightly, thinking she'd have to buy a new skirt if she grew even another inch. It was such a pain. She shot Theo another weary grin, dreading two hours in the dungeons (Theo loved potions, she'd never get why), and headed off towards the castle.

ooc;; I thought maybe we could start the thread where Vivian decides she loves Theo soon? XD